First of all, thank you guys so much for the sweet comments, Tweets, and emails about my last post! I can't believe how many sincere, caring, and helpful true friends that I have made from just writing a couple of blog posts here and there. When starting this blog I never thought it would be possible to "meet" so many new friends, my goal was to simply keep Garrett's and my families updated on our life. You guys were a fun surprise and are such a blessing, so again, thank you!
Since beginning this blog, I have found myself wanting to do more with it than recap our vacations, or post recipes of our favorite desserts. I struggled, and still do, with what I want to write about and how much I should share, what my "voice" would/should be.
Ideally, I would like this blog to be my online diary. An open account of everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Writing is an outlet for me. It helps me to communicate things that I may otherwise be unable to. However, it is not simply writing that is in some way therapeutic for me, but it is the conversations/relationships I develop through writing, the hopefulness of finding someone else that feels the way I do.
So why is it so hard to share some things on here? Because I am afraid of being judged. Being thought of as "weird" for even wanting to share my life/thoughts/feelings to a group of strangers.
The weird thing is that it's not the "strangers" that shy me away from sharing. It's the people I know. What will my husband think? What will my mom and dad think? What will Garrett's mom think? I can hear my dad right now, " You need to watch what you put on there."
The thing is, I don't want to watch what I put on here. I want to talk about feeling depressed, or feeling angry at someone, or being excited for future possibilities, or any feeling in between. Why? Because I know that someone else has felt the same thing and that there are such supportive people out there. Not only that, but if I could possibly help someone out or relate to someone else feeling the same way, why not?
Mainly, I want to be honest and open. I want to write without thought of who's reading and what they will think. It will be difficult, because when you are honest some things aren't always pretty. People may not like what I write about, it may be boring, repetitive, or too "deep". I want to get past that and just write, say what I want to say.
So, from now on that's what I am going to try and do.